I keep burping while trying to sing. I’ve never burped this much in my life. At least it’s not coming out the other end.

imaginary life

looking up color guard stuff on YouTube is difficult because it’s all for winter guard and I need to see routines using flags at least somewhat exclusively for marching season.

color guard argh

I never want to be famous because I’ve taken so many terrible pictures of myself on so many different people’s cameras, people would stop liking me.

imaginary thoughts

Holy crap I just woke up from a dream that the marketing for Mockingjay Part 1 got so out of hand that they people running it hacked every computer system in the entire world for one of their “transmissions” from District 13 except all that happened was I was using my Kindle and it just started spazzing out until the message came through and I had no clue how to stop it and it really freaked me out.

mockingjay part 1 the hunger games thg mockingjay

the-average-gatsby:

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

(via svenguin)

reblogging this for my George because she loves math jokes